my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hippo gnu deer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
