My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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