I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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