I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
