That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
bring money and cleavage
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
