I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
