3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
pray to the hookup gods
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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