Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
