I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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