Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my vag is so smooth its legendary
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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