I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's blow job season.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just had sex on a roof
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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