Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
