I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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