i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
