The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
