You made me cry and you don't even care
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
