if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
