so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
