No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dignity is for republicans.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
