That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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