; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
