Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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