Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
did you just send me my own nude
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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