i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
