erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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