omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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