Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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