her vagine was all disorganized.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
