I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
