office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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