I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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