dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Congratulations! We have a period
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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