am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
