let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Vodka?
Forever.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
