none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
