"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
