I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
