i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
it was like eating out sand paper
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
