i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
