I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
