So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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