He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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