Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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