dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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