You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
