You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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