just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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