In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Apparently you make a good broom.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
