OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
