I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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