I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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