onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
