she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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